Okay, let’s be blunt: if your husband doesn’t want you sexually anymore, there’s really only one path that leads to this place—he’s not attracted to you anymore. Ouch, I know. But before you start burning the bed sheets, let’s figure out why. Maybe he’s bored, maybe he’s just not physically attracted anymore, or maybe your sex life has become as thrilling as watching paint dry. Whatever the reason, today’s your lucky day—let’s fix this faster than you can say “midlife crisis.”
Step 1: Face the Brutal Truth
First things first, he’s not going to come out and tell you what’s wrong. No way. You’re going to have to play detective here. Maybe you’ve gained some weight, and he’s been spending more time fantasizing about the trainer at work than he has about you. I know, that stings, but if that’s the case, it’s time to kickstart a healthier lifestyle and maybe even sign up for that gym membership. Sure, it’s not easy, but if you really want to rekindle that spark, it’s worth the effort. Now, before you scream “fatphobic!”, consider this: 98% of women hit the gym after a divorce to get in shape for the next guy. So, why not do it for the man you’re already married to?
Step 2: Take a Peek at His Fantasy World
Here’s a little secret: porn might be fake, but men’s desires aren’t. Check out some of those adult films. If you’re feeling particularly sneaky, dig through his browser history (for educational purposes, of course). Compare what you see with your current sex life. I’m not saying you should recreate an entire porn scene, but picking up a few ideas to spice things up in the bedroom can work wonders. Even though those movies aren’t real, men often wish their sex life had a bit of that same excitement.
Step 3: Rediscover Your Femininity
Lack of femininity can be a real passion killer. No, I’m not suggesting you transform into Miss Piggy with a cigar and strut around the house in nothing but lingerie (though, hey, that might work too). What I’m saying is, take more care of yourself. Start paying attention to your skin, put on a little makeup (nothing too drastic), spritz on some nice perfume, and for the love of all things sexy, get yourself some new lingerie. And if you’re a bit on the fuzzy side, it’s time to wax—everything. If, after all that, he’s still not interested, maybe take him to the nearest hospital. He might need a testicular exam.
Step 4: Analyze Your Sex Life
Take a good, hard look at your sex life. What’s working? What’s not? It’s totally normal for things to get a little stale over the years, but too much routine and mechanical sex can kill even the best relationships. Improving your sex life is a must if you want to keep the relationship alive and kicking.
The Bottom Line
No one said marriage was easy, and keeping the sexual spark alive takes work—on both sides. But by being honest with yourself and making some changes, you can reignite the passion and keep your relationship from flatlining. If he’s still not interested after all that effort, well, at least you’ll know you gave it your best shot. And who knows? Maybe you’ll end up being the one who’s suddenly not interested anymore.
