Remember that old Windows game, Minesweeper? The one nobody really knew how to play, where you’d randomly click around, plant some flags, and hope for the best? Then, boom—game over. Well, figuring out if she’s the right one for you is kind of like that. It’s tricky, filled with red flags, and one wrong move can blow up in your face. But don’t worry—I’m here to help you navigate this minefield before you take the next step.
Can You Be Yourself?
So, you’re in the early stages of dating, still blind enough to miss the traps. The most important thing—seriously, the most important thing—is that you can be yourself. I’m talking about the real you: your actual opinions, your true personality, not just the dumb jokes you tell to get her into bed. If she likes you for who you really are, that’s a good sign she’ll respect you in the long run. And, of course, you should be doing the same for her. If you’re both putting on a show, that relationship is built on a foundation shakier than a Jenga tower at a frat party.
Do You Share the Same Views?
You don’t have to like all the same things, but you should share the same general worldview. Some psychologists might tell you, “You just need to understand each other, talk about your problems, and be patient.” Yeah, no. Don’t eat that crap. No one has ever lived happily with someone who fundamentally disagrees with their core values. Do you think Hitler could’ve built his Nazi empire without surrounding himself with people who shared his twisted worldview? Not a chance. So, if you’re constantly butting heads on major issues, that’s a huge red flag.
Does She Have Your Back?
What you really don’t want is someone who belittles you. You’re supposed to be a team, pushing each other to be better, motivating each other, making mistakes together, and solving them together. Pay attention to how she reacts when problems arise. If she leaves you to deal with the mess alone, that’s a bad sign. Now, I know what you’re thinking: “But I saw some billionaire guru on YouTube saying you shouldn’t share your problems with your woman.” Don’t buy into that BS. That advice might work if you’re loaded and your problems are just minor speed bumps. But for the average guy, when serious problems hit, you’re going to need a partner who’s in it for the long haul.
The Bottom Line
These two simple checks—being able to be yourself and sharing core values—will save you a lot of therapy sessions down the road. In the next article, I’ll give you a detailed list of the red flags you should really watch out for. But for now, if she passes these tests, you’re off to a good start.
