Here’s What You Need to Do
We’ve all been there, guys. The excuses are endless: “I’m tired,” “You don’t help enough,” “I have a headache,” “You don’t show me love,” blah, blah, blah. Look, I hate to break it to you, but that’s all BS. In my younger days, I met some wild divorced women who did the same thing to their husbands. These women refused sex, their husbands cheated out of sheer frustration, and then, surprise surprise, after the divorce, these ladies somehow found the energy to keep up with two jobs and still look fresh for their next date. Funny how that works, right?
So, what should you do when your wife isn’t interested in sex anymore? The answer isn’t the crap you’re often told—sex therapy, couples therapy, giving her space, supporting her emotionally, or doing more chores around the house. That’s all a waste of time. I’m not just giving you advice here; I’m giving you a prescription. It’ll take anywhere from one to four weeks to see results, but trust me, it works.
Step 1: Play the Game Right
If she’s playing the “I’ll give you sex if you do X, Y, and Z” game, it’s time to turn the tables. Start ignoring her in a subtle, but noticeable way. If she tries to make you feel guilty by saying it’s your fault for not being loving enough or helping out more, don’t fall for it. That’s just emotional blackmail. Don’t engage in the “you first” game. If she doesn’t make the first move, neither do you. I know it’s tough. Your testosterone is probably leaking out of your eyeballs, and you’re sweating bullets in bed. Stay strong. Masturbate before bed if you have to; it helps to keep your sanity.
Step 2: Act Like You Don’t Give a Damn
Next, start acting a bit mechanical toward her. Don’t be a jerk, but be that confident guy who seems like he doesn’t give a damn. Give her a quick, robotic kiss when you leave the house. Buy yourself some new clothes and a nice cologne. Her primal brain will start wondering, “What’s going on?” Get busy—go out with friends or pick up a hobby. Even if you’re at home, keep yourself occupied. When you do pick up your phone, don’t waste time on stupid TikToks. Read articles, learn something new. Show her you’re leveling up without her.
Step 3: Be Vague and Unavailable
Be vague in your conversations. If you’re not having sex, you’re basically roommates, not a couple. Make her realize that. You’ve spent years taking care of her and the kids, and you don’t ask for much—just a little mutual pleasure. If she continues to ignore your needs, start ignoring her more and more. When she finally makes a move, stay cool. Treat her like a casual buddy you have nothing to talk about except the weather. Before leaving for work, dress better than you used to, put on some of that new cologne, and wear a smile like work is fantastic. After a few days of this, she’ll be all over you, giving you the best sex you’ve had in years.
Step 4: Shake Up the Routine
Now, here’s where you take it up a notch. Start shaking up the routine to keep her on her toes. Plan a spontaneous night out or a surprise weekend getaway—but don’t tell her until the last minute. Show her you can have fun with or without her. If she sees you’re the same exciting guy she fell for, she’ll be reminded of what she’s missing out on. Also, don’t be afraid to flirt a little—not with her, but just in general. A little harmless banter with the waitress or a playful wink at the barista might remind her that other people still find you attractive. It’s not about making her jealous; it’s about showing her you’ve still got it.
The Bottom Line
Here’s the deal: after a few years, women often start losing interest in their men. Humans always want what they can’t have. If she feels like she’s losing you, she’ll come running back. Don’t be available every time she rings the bell. She needs to work for your attention. Some people will disagree, but every relationship is like a business—service for service. Show me love, I’ll give you sex. Give me sex, I’ll show you love. The trick is finding the right balance so both of you are happy with what you’re getting out of it.
