Ah, the kryptonite of every man: starting a conversation with a woman on a dating app. It’s like walking into a minefield blindfolded, and the mines are her lack of replies or, worse, that dreaded one-word response. “Hey,” she texts back, “thanks.” And just like that, you’re ghosted. Welcome to the jungle, buddy. Women today are flooded with messages. Their options are endless, so if you think that starting with “Hi, how are you?” is going to cut it, think again. That’s as exciting as watching paint dry in 2024. Women now expect every guy to analyze their entire personality from three photos and craft a Shakespearean sonnet just for them. But we’re not here to write poetry; we’re here to catch the fish with a stick. So, let’s get to it.
Step 1: Keep It Simple, Stupid
First off, stop overthinking it. Seriously, if you spend more than a minute crafting that first message, you’re doing it wrong. Your reptilian brain is not meant for that kind of stress. Be straightforward and write like you talk. Authenticity is your friend here. Try something like, “Hey, how’s it going? Sorry if this isn’t super creative—I’m kind of new to this whole dating app thing.” Boom. You’ve acknowledged your lack of creativity while also setting a relaxed tone. Odds are, she’ll respond with, “Hey! No worries, I’m new to this too!” Spoiler: she’s not new to this, but now she’s pretending to be on your level. Congrats, you’re in.
Step 2: Skip the Obvious Compliments
Now that you’ve got her attention, don’t screw it up by falling into the classic trap. Don’t say, “You’re really pretty!” She already knows that. She’s been told a million times today by guys who are now all in her “Ignore” pile. If you want to stand out, you need to play it cool. Instead, say something like, “You seem interesting.” Keep it vague and make her work for your attention. Remember, this is a chess game, not checkers. If she’s interested, she’ll engage and try to prove she’s worth your time.
Step 3: Let Her Talk, and Actually Listen
Women love to talk. It’s not a stereotype; it’s a fact. Ask her about her hobbies. If she says, “I love makeup and nail art,” don’t just nod along. Show some interest: “Oh, cool! Do you do your own or for others too?” Make her hobbies sound as fascinating as the latest SpaceX launch. Show genuine curiosity. Only talk about yourself when prompted, and even then, tread lightly. If she asks what you do for a living, here’s where it gets tricky. If you’ve got a cool job, great. If you’re slinging burgers at McDonald’s or washing windows like I did in my youth, dress it up a bit. “I get to access the highest, most exclusive windows in the city and I’m also finishing my degree.” Boom. You’re hardworking, ambitious, and not settling for the basics. Keep evolving; never settle.
Step 4: Move Fast, But Not Too Fast
Don’t wait more than two days before suggesting a meet-up. Say something like, “Hey, let’s grab a coffee or take a walk sometime soon.” The goal is to meet her as quickly as possible. Keep chatting for a week, and some other guy will swoop in and set up a date. And when that happens? Forget about it. She’s already moved on. Always choose a public place for the first meeting—somewhere with plenty of people around. Not only is it safer, but it also puts less pressure on her, making her more likely to say yes.
Resume
Starting a conversation on a dating app doesn’t have to be rocket science. Keep it simple, stay authentic, skip the clichés, and show genuine interest. Move quickly to set up a date, and remember—public places only. And hey, don’t worry if you’re not Casanova right out of the gate. It’s all about playing the game smarter, not harder.
And stay tuned—I’ll be dishing out more tips on nailing that first date in my next article. Stay sharp, gentlemen.
