Survival Guide
Alright, here’s the deal. If you’re dealing with a narcissist, I’ve got some tips for you. But let’s be clear: this is a game you’re not going to win in the long run. These people are like emotional black holes—they suck the life out of everything and everyone around them. Sometimes, though, life throws one of these charming disasters your way, and you just can’t escape. So, what do you do? You learn some dark psychology and play the game smarter.
1. Keep Your Cards Close to Your Chest
First rule of Narcissist Fight Club: Don’t talk about yourself. The less they know about your life, the better. Don’t reveal your wins, don’t mention your losses, and for the love of all things holy, don’t give them any ammo. Be vague, like a politician dodging a scandal. The less they know, the less interesting you are to them. Narcissists feed off information, and if you starve them, they’ll find someone else to sink their teeth into.
2. Don’t Waste Your Breath Arguing
Trying to convince a narcissist they’re wrong is like trying to teach a fish to ride a bicycle—utterly pointless and a complete waste of time. You could be right beyond a shadow of a doubt; they could be wrong in every conceivable way, but they will never admit it. It’s easier to negotiate with a brick wall. Instead, take a different approach: agree with them in a way that subtly mocks their confidence. “Oh, you think that’ll work? Sure, go ahead and try it. I’m sure it’ll be a smashing success.” Watch them squirm when they realize their brilliant plan is falling apart. A narcissist hates nothing more than failing and being seen as a failure.
3. Make Them Think They’re in Control
Remember, in the world of a narcissist, everything is your fault. Did they mess up? Your fault. Did their project tank? Clearly, you sabotaged it. Instead of arguing, let them think they’re the puppet master. Say things like, “Oh, I must have misunderstood, I thought you were the one who agreed with me.” This not only disarms them but makes them doubt their own narrative. Narcissists hate the idea of being influenced because it makes them seem weak. Play this card wisely, and you’ll find yourself dodging many of their blame games.
4. Pick Your Battles—Or Better Yet, Don’t Fight at All
Here’s a reality check: You’re not going to win. Ever. A narcissist will break a leg in three places just to prove a point. So, let them win. Wise people learn from mistakes and losses, but narcissists? They just inflate their own egos. By letting them “win,” you’re keeping your sanity intact while they spiral into their own delusions of grandeur. Let them bask in their imaginary victories while you focus on things that actually matter.
5. Keep Conversations to the Bare Essentials
Every discussion with a narcissist is like stepping onto a battlefield. Even if they agree with you, they’ll find a way to twist things into an argument. So, avoid engaging in debates or sharing your opinions. Keep it short, sweet, and strictly about essentials. If this narcissist happens to be a colleague, spouse, or even your mother, stick to the basics. Your energy is precious—don’t waste it feeding their narcissistic appetite.
6. Stay Cool When They Push Your Buttons
This is the hardest part—staying cool when they’re trying to press all your buttons. Narcissists are experts at finding your weak spots and poking them repeatedly. You’ve got to stay cold-blooded, like a chess master plotting their next move. Think of those pre-fight press conferences where one fighter tries to break the other’s calm. The smart ones? They keep their cool, don’t take the bait, and show they’re above the nonsense. That’s your goal. Your mind is a vault—don’t let any two-bit narcissist crack it open. Learn everything you can about their tactics, and when the time comes to strike back, do it with precision and leave no room for retaliation.
7. When in Doubt, Annihilate
If you’re going to go to war, go all in. Narcissists don’t deserve half-measures. As the 48 Laws of Power teaches us, if your enemy wants war, you must annihilate them. Don’t just win—destroy their ability to ever come back. Don’t leave a single piece on the board for them to play with. But remember, this is the nuclear option—only use it when absolutely necessary.
Resume
Dealing with a narcissist is like playing a rigged game of chess where the rules constantly change and the board is on fire. You won’t win in the long run, but you can survive and keep your sanity intact. Keep your personal life private, don’t waste time arguing, and let them believe they’re in control. Stay cool under pressure and, if you must, go for the kill. Remember, your peace of mind is worth more than their inflated ego. Don’t let them drag you down to their level—stay above it, and keep moving forward.
